What makes the list as the best days of your life? What makes the list as the worst? For me the best days were full of periods of joy; the birth of my children, wedding day, graduations. Moments where love and connection were high. A bit of achievement or completion but connection in huge amounts. 

So the worst.. the day Andrew died. And as I face the second anniversary, I thought about other worst days. Nothing comes very close but the days my parents died, finding out my sister and sister in law had cancer, the death of my parents in laws. The loss or possible loss of connections. The loss of their loving presence in this world. 

A life is such a collection but for me, it’s more okay, more good days than bad which makes me feel grateful

Grateful helps. Perspective helps as I realize this isn’t the last of the best or the worst. One day at a time. Enjoy as much as I can is what I tell myself lately. And it works.