I've been having alot of random thoughts. I notice my thoughts about Andrew are a measure of good, strong positive happy memories and a measure of painful memories; either how I feel I could have done better or just watching him in so much pain from his addiction.
Fall is a time of letting go. But I find myself with regrets; times I missed with him. I am not ready to let go of.....my guilt, my anger at myself, my regrets. Time went by so fast and continues to do so. I know I will do it; its a slow process forgiveness...I think of it like water running through my hands. And I'm okay with not letting go, not forgiving right now. I think of forgiveness as a process with insights. I'm working on keeping my heart open on the road of forgiveness.
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