Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain

The Death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain

    What appalls me about these deaths is the loss of their contribution; to their families as parents, daughters, sons, partners and to the world in terms of their work. What makes me angry is how the high cost to our society, to the world, of having Depression is ignored.

    Depression is why these two amazing people killed themselves. They died by suicide. I think of Depression like a place. People travel alone, learning how to navigate the hopelessness, the lack of energy, the loss of color in their life. Some days are worse than others. As travelers, they try to explain how it feels to others who haven't visited.

    People are lost in Depression. Literally. The center of the land of Depression is the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. Both feelings fuels what we call negative self talk which feels true but is, at least somewhat, false. For example, " I made a mistake and took a wrong turn becomes I can't stop making mistakes."

    We all visit negative self talk. A person with Depression battles it many hours a day. Like climbing a mountain and never reaching the top...In a tough episode, feeling like they will never leave Depression.

     I don't know the personal journey of these two famous people. I know the general outlines of the journey through Depression. Two of the worst navigational issues are addictions and shame.  Depression tells them they are a burden to friends and family. They stop talking about their journey. They try to appear happy. Sometimes, that works for a while. or off and on.

    People with Depression often feel like they should be able to get through it because they have gotten through a bout without help. The land of Depression is large. One trail through the first time doesn't necessarily mean you can successfully navigate without help the next time.

      Depressed people don't lack character. They have inspired me with their courage, their creativity, their persistence in the face of despair and hopelessness for years. This is an illness like cancer. It is a cancer in a world that needs our all of our best and all of our best efforts to stay on course.

   There are many treatments like there are many ways through the land of Depression. No one treatment works for everyone. We need to keep working to find a cure for mental illnesses and stop treating mental health like simple character flaws. As it turns out, character flaws are much easier to work with.

Rest in Peace Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. You will be missed.