My grandfather taught me about respect; he often bought my grandmother a single red rose. He taught me the value of walking; on every visit my sister and I would walk with him. He taught me to value sisu; a Finnish word meaning grit and persistence by telling me stories of sisu, stories of persistence and strength of character. And because I looked up to him, I wanted to be like him. So, when I ran, I ran farther, and when I hiked I pushed myself harder thinking of him. I practiced.
My grandmother was a smart, gutsy lady. As a former nurse, she also taught me about cleanliness; hot water, about germs. I learned about nutrition especially the value of a good breakfast. I learned how to hold your head up when you're scared or anxious. and I practiced. Because I looked up to her.
My Dad’s grandmother loved us so much. She showed her love. She gave us Juicy Fruit gum, took us to church. She had been through a lot of hardship in her life. And she showed me how to just keep going. If I lean back and close my eyes, I can feel her love today. They all loved me. But her love was out there. Never said, just so felt.
When I see people ignoring social distance, I wonder if they are thinking what I read online. They're just old people. They've lived a good life. Why do I have to wear a mask to protect old people?
I want to say to them; play that out. No grandparents to be the anchors in an extended family. To teach us in a different way about love, about respect and about living good values in the world. And how to age well. Because you're going to do that too, hopefully
Parents are the front line, like today's healthcare workers. My Dad was a walker too. He valued exercise but worried about me getting hurt hiking or running. My Mom was smart, highly educated and with a big sense of humor with a survivor edge. I loved making her laugh. She made me a better survivor. All five of these people helped me grow up in many more ways than listed here...All five reinforced each other’s values with their own special style and stories. And I practiced because I looked up to them.
A world without grandparents is about giving all of us less resources, especially our children, to learn how to live good lives and to live well. We need more than one or two models. It takes more than a frontline to keep our country going, right?
It takes people with optimism and grit; grit from living through trauma and knowing that road. Calm people with experience in living who have survivor humor, wisdom. We look to them. We look up to them. We need them.
I'm not a grandparent. But I am considered in that higher risk group. I don't feel wise or even calm on some days. It helps to think of my grandparents and my parents. My tribe has all passed on. But they still surround me, giving me hope and comfort, reminding me of what I know to be true. Who I am. Do we really want to give up that?
No comments:
Post a Comment