Against Gratitude

 Thanksgiving is the day to be grateful. And gratitude helps remind me of being present today, grateful for memories of past days. 

Too often in my work, gratitude is paired with shame. Why can’t I just be grateful for what I have? I’m so greedy, selfish… 

Here’s my perspective refined by loss. I can be grateful but on the edges of gratitude sits differentness. How can we not, triggered by the holiday traditions, remember the ones we miss, their presence, laughter and love? 

Are you asking me to ignore, deny or avoid that part of my heart? Better we have some compassion, for those who are having a difficult holiday, for ourselves whose holidays are a reminder of what we’ve lost, not just who we’re with today. I can be grateful and sad. Let’s have compassion, not just gratitude.