BUT, but

 I just found out the home Andrew passed away in,  is gone. The sober home folks moved out some time last year. I knew it was a rental. And understand on the level of the home needing work when we visited. 

My first reaction is it feels like a tie has been broken. A loss. I hope, whoever is there makes that house a happy one. Andrew would like that.

I found out because the check for his annual birthday party wasn’t cashed. I’m in touch with one of the guys, so I reached out. I can send the check again. 

Last year, I wondered if anyone is left who knew him. Is it okay if I’m contributing to a birthday party for a guy named Andrew who passed away as well as ( I suggested and the guys accepted) other people who passed away from addiction?

 And now the groups in a different house… true this is part of the organizations history but is it right to continue it? Is it just creating pain for them in old memories?

Should we just keep Andrews memory with people who knew him? Who love him? Or is it important to acknowledge the people including my son who have died, who continue to pass away from addiction? 

I have my answer. It’s about acknowledging sober living is living with the possibility of life and death. And celebrating those who are here now and living with intention for those who died. And what better way than a party?