Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Making Them Proud

 I look back at my last post and shake my head at the intensity of my feelings. The day Andrew passed went okay. But I struggled in the next week thinking about how much I miss him. ...and reaching for some perspective... how this pain has receded a bit ( I'm thankful for that) but remains the worst pain of my life. 

This loss has made me more present centered, less concerned with what people think of me, more sensitive (which I didn't need) to others and myself. This loss has been like someone physically giving me a big push in the butt!, a Do It push. Do the thing. I feel Andrew's presence pushing me too. Come on, Mom he used to say. Come on!

 It's uncomfortable to admit this but I think about the people I love who are gone; I want to make all of them proud. That never occurred to me before. 


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