C.S.Lewis said “ you can’t change the beginning. But you can start where you are and change the ending.” July 8th was the third awful day of the third year of Andrews passing. I know he is with me and us often.
I continue to grieve, deeply, daily but I think, I hope he would be proud as my Mom and Dad would be proud that I have despite pain, been able to be happy at times. I have not moved on but forward, carrying both my pain and their love. No ending of them or me. Just knowing better and doing better interspersed with big walloping mistakes I make as a human.
I have changed. I’m committed to it. I can do better. I’ve made much needed changes to my life. And added a new part. A part of me that misses them. Homesick for them is a place in my interior landscape. Who knew that was a part of adulting? A part of grief I think we all carry. Together and alone.
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